I managed to get myself down to my allotment today for the first time in a while. But it was herculean effort to get out the door. I was talking to myself as if I was coaxing a reluctant child "just get your coat on" " see that wasn't so bad, now get your boots", … Continue reading Feeling stuck
The relief from lying down and feeling some of the tension and pain in my neck and shoulders subside.Getting my heap of cushions and pillows just right so my head and neck are completely supported.
I have been feeling the gravitational pull of my bed almost since I got out of it this morning. I'd find myself stopped still, staring into space. Or absentmindedly taking a seat in the middle of a short conversation, or propping up my head with my hand. I was still surprised to find myself waking … Continue reading Where did my afternoon go?
Recently I've progressed from feeling low into depression and one of the tell-take signs is a complete disregard for taking care of myself. I just don't care. And what does an act of self-sabotage look like? It's not going on a bender, avoiding an important deadline or staying up all hours. No - it's going … Continue reading Pitiful acts of rebellion
I experienced a setback during December that seems to be dragging on and on As a result I'm losing the will to keep persevering with rebuilding habits and routines again and again. It seems like I'm hit with a new obstacle or mini-setback before I've got close to where I was in Autumn. I feel … Continue reading Small victory#2: Made some food to freeze for later
I've decided to keep count of my small victories as the big ones are so few and far between. My first little win is eating a salad. It might not seem like much, but between my fussy, nauseated migraine brain and the general difficulty of organising my household chores my daytime meals have been mostly … Continue reading Small victory #1 Ate a salad
Forget there is a setback plan, try to get back to 'normal' as quickly as possible, then have half a bar of chocolate and a third of a bottle of wine because what's the point in trying to be good if you end up feeling horrible anyway? Still it's a new week, so I'm going … Continue reading How not to cope with a setback
Bone tired is the only way to describe how I feel today. My skeleton is sleepy, my muscles sluggish and when required to speak or think my brain just shrugs. I hate this feeling, it seems like such a waste of a day. And I don't feel like I've any control over it. I've taken … Continue reading Bone Tired